Four weeks from today I'll be back in the States!! How crazy is that?! So here's a little look-see at what's in store for my final four weeks in China...
Friday (June 1st) is Children's Day. Our school will spend the whole weekend celebrating with performances by each class from grades 1-6; that's around 60-65 classes/performances that we get to watch! Actually, I'm really excited about it, cause these kids put on the most adorable performances ever! They'll all be decked out in costumes and make-up (yes, even the boys), and the kids have to practice even more than community theaters back home do before a show. 1/3 of the classes will sing, 1/3 will recite poetry, and 1/3 will perform short plays. Oh yeah- my team was asked to perform a dance, so we choreographed a dance to the most popular English song in China... "Baby" by Justin Beaver. I'd made it years without ever hearing that song in its entirety and now I know every word and a choreographed dance to it (don't worry, there will be a video)!
June 15th is our last day of teaching. Before then I'm throwing goodbye parties in each of my classes, and I'm sure I'll be an emotional wreck! Man, I'm going to miss those kids so much.
During the last week of teaching the school leaders and government will host banquets in our (the foreign teachers) honor. Those usually turn out to be pretty interesting experiences that make great/awkward stories later on, so get excited for those to come soon!
After that I don't have any plans until June 24th. Maybe I'll do some traveling, or stay in Taiyuan and spend as much time as possible with everyone here, or head to Beijing early, or maybe even do a combination of all three! Then June 24th-25th I have debriefing in Beijing with all of the other 1st year teachers that I had training with back in August. I'm not really sure what debriefing will entail, but it's supposed to help us adjust back to Western life and prepare us for what to expect when we go back to the States.
That brings me to June 26th. Most of us will take a group flight from Beijing to LAX; we'll leave here around 2pm and arrive in LAX at 11am the same day, three hours before we left Beijing! Finally, I'll fly back to the East Coast and arrive late that night. My parents and Tim and Tracie will be there to greet me- I couldn't ask for a better homecoming!
So that's the plan for my next/final four weeks here in China. As sad as it will be to leave, I'm getting more and more excited about going back to the States as it gets closer. I can't wait to see you all!!!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
I'm so not ready for this.
Tomorrow marks the 50-day countdown! 50 days until I leave China and return to the States.
50 days until I get to see my family and friends and have the comforts of home again...
Sadly, I have to remind myself that I should be stoked about going home; to be honest, I'm terrified. I've been told that it'll be harder to go home than it was to leave, that everything will be different from what I remember, that the home I'll be returning to won't be the same home that I left, and that it'll be a bigger culture shock to go back to the States than it was to come to China. When I came to China, my life back in America was basically put on hold, but everything and everyone else kept moving forward. I'm truly grateful that so many of you have made such huge efforts to include me in both joyful and painful life events. I've heard about a lot of really exciting changes for my friends and family: engagements and weddings, new babies, moves to exciting places, new jobs, and life dreams being realized! I've also heard about a lot of devastating changes: deaths, divorces, unemployment, terminal diagnoses, and difficult life-altering decisions to make. It's heartbreaking that I haven't been able to be with you to celebrate joyous occasions or to grieve through crises; hearing about those things, instead of experiencing them with you, makes them seem somewhat unreal and I keep telling myself that not that much could have changed in just a year. But not knowing what I'll be returning to is only partly what terrifies me; I think the even bigger part is knowing what I'll be leaving.
50 days until I have to say goodbye to everyone and everything that I love in China...
At some point in the past 9ish months I've come to view this place as my home. My teammates have become my family. My co-teachers, local university students, the volunteers at Taiyuan Teens (China's version of Young Life), and other foreigners have become my close friends. My students have become some of the greatest joys in my life. It's heartbreaking to know that I might never see most of these people again. I've (mostly) learned to embrace an entirely different way of life and it has become my reality. It's hard to comprehend that many of the things that are such a huge part of daily life in China will suddenly feel irrelevant once I leave.
I'm terrified of going back to the States and being completely overwhelmed by how different everything is. I'm terrified of feeling like I'll be intruding into the lives that kept moving forward while my life was 17,000 miles away. I'm terrified of wondering if I'll belong there anymore.
Embarrassingly, that was the end of my update and I almost clicked "Publish" to share with the world my rant of self-pity and lack of trust in Father. Graciously, Father stopped me and reminded me of some of His truths:
50 days until I get to see Father's provision in entirely new ways! Have I seriously been complaining because I'm worried about what I'll face when I return home? Don't I believe that He will guide and protect me through all trials, big or small? We're told that "everyone born of Father overcomes the world."
50 days until I get to follow Father to the next part of our journey together! Didn't I tell Him that I would follow Him to the ends of the earth, to serve wherever He chooses to lead me? Did I only mean that if it was to exotic places among unreached people? Shouldn't that also mean to my hometown, among my neighbors, even in my home Fellowship among Brothers and Sisters?
50 days until I get to serve Him among my home community! We're told to "share with His people who are in need." Isn't that why I'm going back, to get my M.Ed. in Counseling so I can work with disadvantaged people? No matter where in the world we are sent, He will always provide us with opportunities to serve His children.
Thank you, Father, for constantly providing such a faithless daughter with Your grace and mercy. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve You.
50 days until I get to see my family and friends and have the comforts of home again...
Sadly, I have to remind myself that I should be stoked about going home; to be honest, I'm terrified. I've been told that it'll be harder to go home than it was to leave, that everything will be different from what I remember, that the home I'll be returning to won't be the same home that I left, and that it'll be a bigger culture shock to go back to the States than it was to come to China. When I came to China, my life back in America was basically put on hold, but everything and everyone else kept moving forward. I'm truly grateful that so many of you have made such huge efforts to include me in both joyful and painful life events. I've heard about a lot of really exciting changes for my friends and family: engagements and weddings, new babies, moves to exciting places, new jobs, and life dreams being realized! I've also heard about a lot of devastating changes: deaths, divorces, unemployment, terminal diagnoses, and difficult life-altering decisions to make. It's heartbreaking that I haven't been able to be with you to celebrate joyous occasions or to grieve through crises; hearing about those things, instead of experiencing them with you, makes them seem somewhat unreal and I keep telling myself that not that much could have changed in just a year. But not knowing what I'll be returning to is only partly what terrifies me; I think the even bigger part is knowing what I'll be leaving.
50 days until I have to say goodbye to everyone and everything that I love in China...
At some point in the past 9ish months I've come to view this place as my home. My teammates have become my family. My co-teachers, local university students, the volunteers at Taiyuan Teens (China's version of Young Life), and other foreigners have become my close friends. My students have become some of the greatest joys in my life. It's heartbreaking to know that I might never see most of these people again. I've (mostly) learned to embrace an entirely different way of life and it has become my reality. It's hard to comprehend that many of the things that are such a huge part of daily life in China will suddenly feel irrelevant once I leave.
I'm terrified of going back to the States and being completely overwhelmed by how different everything is. I'm terrified of feeling like I'll be intruding into the lives that kept moving forward while my life was 17,000 miles away. I'm terrified of wondering if I'll belong there anymore.
Embarrassingly, that was the end of my update and I almost clicked "Publish" to share with the world my rant of self-pity and lack of trust in Father. Graciously, Father stopped me and reminded me of some of His truths:
50 days until I get to see Father's provision in entirely new ways! Have I seriously been complaining because I'm worried about what I'll face when I return home? Don't I believe that He will guide and protect me through all trials, big or small? We're told that "everyone born of Father overcomes the world."
50 days until I get to follow Father to the next part of our journey together! Didn't I tell Him that I would follow Him to the ends of the earth, to serve wherever He chooses to lead me? Did I only mean that if it was to exotic places among unreached people? Shouldn't that also mean to my hometown, among my neighbors, even in my home Fellowship among Brothers and Sisters?
50 days until I get to serve Him among my home community! We're told to "share with His people who are in need." Isn't that why I'm going back, to get my M.Ed. in Counseling so I can work with disadvantaged people? No matter where in the world we are sent, He will always provide us with opportunities to serve His children.
Thank you, Father, for constantly providing such a faithless daughter with Your grace and mercy. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve You.
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